The following article was written by one of Be Recruitment’s Clinicians, who we’ve had the pleasure of working with for several months. They have kindly offered their insight into what it’s like to be a therapist and the delicate balance between the professional and personal sides of life.
Thank you from the team for sharing these wise words 🙏
Being a therapist often feels like living a double life. In the therapy room, I am the safe, consistent, and neutral professional my clients need. I listen intently, support their healing journeys, and create a space where they can be vulnerable without fear of judgment. I offer stability and grounding in the often chaotic world of emotions, trauma, and mental health struggles. I am the person who can hold space for their darkest thoughts and feelings, helping them find clarity and hope. But once I step out of that room, I return to being someone entirely different—someone my clients will never truly know.
The Therapist My Clients See
For my clients, I am calm, measured, and present. I’m someone they can rely on, who doesn’t react emotionally to their stories or take things personally. My role is to be a container for their emotions, providing thoughtful feedback and asking the right questions at the right time. I remain neutral, avoiding taking sides or injecting my own opinions into their lives. My focus is always on them—on helping them understand themselves better and empowering them to make the best choices for their own well-being.
In the therapy room, I am a blank slate. My personal life, feelings, and experiences don’t enter the conversation. I hold space for their pain, anger, joy, and sorrow, all the while knowing that I must keep my own emotions and experiences separate. It’s not that I don’t care—on the contrary, I care deeply—but my caring is professional, measured, and purposeful. It’s about creating a safe environment where my clients can grow, without worrying about my own emotional responses.
The Person They Will Never Know
But outside of work, I am someone very different. My clients will never know what moves me, what brings me joy, or what keeps me awake at night. They will never see the way I light up when I hear my favorite song on the radio or how much I cherish spending time with my family. They won’t know that I have hobbies that help me unwind, like going for long walks, reading novels, or binge-watching my favorite TV shows. They’ll never witness my impatience in a long queue at the supermarket or my frustration when things don’t go as planned.
In my personal life, I feel the full range of human emotions—just like anyone else. I get annoyed when someone cuts me off in traffic. I feel deep satisfaction when I achieve a personal goal. I experience joy in small, everyday moments that my clients will never see. I have personal struggles and fears, hopes and dreams, but none of these enter my professional space. And that’s by design. The person I am outside of work is for me, not for my clients.
The Balancing Act
Living this double life requires balance. It can be challenging to shift between these two versions of myself, to hold space for others’ pain all day and then come home and deal with my own. But it’s a necessary part of being a therapist. To provide the best care for my clients, I need to remain professional and separate. To stay grounded in my personal life, I need to embrace my own humanity—my own emotions, preferences, and quirks.
Some days, the line between these two lives can feel blurry. There are moments when I leave a session and feel deeply moved by what I’ve heard, and I need to take time to process it in my own way. But I’ve learned to set boundaries, both for my clients’ sake and my own. At work, I am the steady, neutral force they need. At home, I allow myself to be messy, imperfect, and fully human.
Who We Are Depends on People, Places, and Expectations
What makes this balancing act more complex is how who we are bends and fluctuates depending on the people, places, and expectations we encounter. In the therapy room, I am shaped by what my clients need from me—a calm, reflective presence who can hold space for their struggles without becoming overwhelmed by them. Outside of that space, I’m shaped by the context of my personal life—by the expectations of being a parent, partner, or friend. Each environment pulls different aspects of me to the surface.
As therapists, we’re constantly adapting, flowing between roles. At work, we become the person our clients need, holding back our personal experiences to maintain neutrality. At home, with friends or family, we can let those barriers down and reveal the sides of ourselves that clients will never see—what makes us laugh, what irritates us, what brings us peace. Our identities are fluid, changing with each context, and this fluctuation is part of what allows us to remain resilient in both spheres of life.
Why This Double Life Matters
The divide between the therapist my clients see and the person I am outside of work is crucial. It allows me to remain effective in my role, providing the support my clients need without becoming overly enmeshed in their lives or problems. It also helps me protect my own mental health, ensuring that I can continue to show up for them, day after day, without burning out.
It’s not always easy, but this double life is part of what makes therapy such a powerful and transformative process. By keeping my personal experiences and feelings out of the therapy room, I give my clients the space to focus entirely on their own growth and healing. By nurturing my personal life outside of work, I give myself the chance to recharge and stay grounded in the things that matter most to me.
The Human Behind the Professional
At the end of the day, I am a human being just like my clients. I have my own set of challenges, joys, and frustrations. But my clients don’t need to see that. What they need is someone who can hold space for them without distraction, someone who can listen and offer guidance without inserting their own experiences into the mix.
And when I close the door on my workday, I return to being the person I am for myself—a person full of contradictions, emotions, and complexity. A person my clients will never truly know, but someone who exists in the background, quietly fueling the work I do for them.
Being a therapist means living in this duality, embracing the professional and the personal, while ensuring that each part stays where it belongs. It’s a delicate balance, but one that ultimately makes me better at what I do—both in my work and in my life.
If you are interested in working in Social Work, Mental Health, Psychology, or Counseling – reach out to the team to discuss opportunities. We have roles available working from home, remote, hybrid, or in-person roles. [email protected]